Abantu benshi iyo bamaze kwemeranya kubana usanga batangira kwiberaho nk’abagezeyo. Ibyo bikangiza imyiteguro yabo ari nako byangiza n’urushako rwabo bataranarugeramo. Muri iyi nyigisho turavuga ku buryo bwo kwirinda bwagufasha kurushaho kwitegura neza cyane cyane mu gihe wamaze kwemeranya n’uwo mukundana ko muzabana.

Rinda umutima wawe,

Mu mico myinshi, iyo bavuze “umutima” abantu bumva icyicaro cy’ibyiyumvo n’ amarangamutima gusa. Ariko Bibiliya iyo ivuga umutima iba ishaka kuvuga ikirenze amarangamutima. Bibiliya ikoresha umutima ishaka kuvuga ikintu kigena uwo uri we, ibigushishikaza kurusha ibindi mu buzima, ibikunezeza, ndetse n’amahitamo ukora mu buzima bwa buri munsi. Umutima niwo shusho nyayo y’ibyo wizera. Mu Kurambagiza, usanga umuntu ashishikajwe mbere na mbere no kubona umuntu bahuje. Kuburyo iyi amubonye, maze bakemeranya kubana, usanga bimugoye kumenya uko yakomeza kurinda umutima we. Nyamara ijambo ry’Imana rivuga ryeruye mu gitabo cy’imigani 4:23 ngo “Rinda umutima wawe kuruta ibindi byose birindwa kuko ariho iby’ubugingo bikomoka.” 

Niba nawe uri muri iki gihe cyo kurambagiza, ushobora kwibuka ibintu byahoze ari ingenzi mu buzima bwawe. Ni ukuvuga, bigushishikaza cyangwa se bikunezeza kuburyo byagengaga amahitamo yawe ya buri munsi. Ariko nyuma yaho ugiriye mu rukundo n’uwo murambagizanya, ukaba ubu usigaye wumva bya bintu nta kinini bisobanuye ku buzima bwawe mbese bitihutirwa na gato. Uko, ni ko umuntu atakaza umwihariko we nk’umuntu. Nibikomeza, uzisanga uwo uri we nk’umuntu ku giti cye, yaraburiye muri uwo muntu murambagizanya. Ikibazo ni uko abantu benshi bibwira ko ibyo ari byiza. Batekereza ko aribyo bihamya ko abantu bakundana byuzuye. Ariko, uko gutakaza umwihariko wawe nk’umuntu ku giti cye kubera uwo murambagizanya, bibusanye n’ihame ry’uko urushako ari hagati y’abantu babiri bateye bitandukanye ngo buzuzanye. Mu mibanire y’abantu, kurinda umutima wawe ni ugukomera ku mwihariko wawe nk’umuntu. Uwo uri we wihariye ni cyo kintu cy’agaciro gusumba ibindi uzana mu mubano wawe n’abandi (your greatest contribution). Kandi nibyo bigutegurira kubaka urugo rwiza kuko biguha uburyo bwo kubasha kuzuzanya na mugenzi wawe. 

Ingo nyinshi zidindizwa no kuba umwe mu bashakanye atakaza umwimerere we nk’umuntu kubera kwisanisha n’uwo bashakanye. Nk’urugero, uzabona urugo aho umugore n’umugabo bitwara nk’abatagira icyo batandukaniyeho. Umwe iyo agiye gutanga igitekerezo abanza kureba kuri mugenzi we, cyangwa yamara kuvuga akabaza mugenzi we niba ibyo avuze aribyo. Ugasanga umuntu atinya nko gukosora cyangwa guhakanira mugenzi we ikintu icyo aricyo cyose. Atari uko bari mu ruhame gusa, ahubwo n’igihe bari bonyine. Niba utinya guhakanira cyangwa gukosora uwo mukundana/ mwashakanye, uri kumuhombya bikomeye kandi nawe utiretse.  Kuko niba mukundana by’ukuri, ufite ubushobozi bwihariye bwo kumuhakanira cyangwa kumukosora mu rukundo. Mu gihe abandi bose iyo bamuhakaniye cyangwa bamukosoye byoroshye ko abifata  nko guhangana kuko n’ubundi nta kimwemeza ko babikoreshejwe n’urukundo.  Nyamara wowe, kubera ko abizi neza ko umukunda, uko wamuhakanira cyangwa wamukosora kose ntiyashidikanya ko ubikoreshejwwe n’urukundo kuko murakundana. Ibaze rero, ukuntu aba ahombye iyo umuntu umwe ufite ubushobozi bwo kumukosora cyangwa kumuhakanira mu rukundo atabikoze kubera ko yisanishije nawe. Umumaro wawe k’uwo mukundana/ mwashakanye si ukwemera ibyo avuze byose. Hari ubwo igihambaye wafasha uwo mukundana/ mwashakanye ari ukumuhakanira. 

urinde umubiri wawe,

Kimwe mu byaha byoroshye kwizingira ku musore n’umukobwa bamaze kwemeranya kubana ni ubusambanyi. Kubera ko ibyiyumvo bya bombi biba biri mu cyerekezo kimwe buri wese yumva ashaka mugenzi we. Nyamara ijambo ry’Imana rivuga ryeruye ko nk’abizera twahamagariwe kwezwa no kwirinda gusambana ngo umuntu wese muri twe amenye gutegeka umubiri we wezwe ufite icyubahiro (1 Abatesalonike 4:1-6). Abantu bamwe, mu izina ryo kwirinda ubusambanyi usanga bihutisha ubukwe kuburyo hagati yo kwemeranya kubana no gushyingiranywa bashyiramo igihe gito gishoboka. Ibyo si bibi. Ariko, bihombya uyu musore n’umukobwa amahirwe yo kwitoza gutegeka imibiri yabo (self control). Mu gihe kumenya gutegeka umubiri wawe ari kimwe mu by’ingenzi ukeneye kugira ngo ubashe kubaka urugo rwiza kuko umuntu wamenyereye kugenzura umubiri we niwe ubashaka kuba umwizerwa kuwo bashakanye n’igihe bageze mu rugo rwabo.

Hano mu 1 Abatesalonike 4: kandi Bibiliya itubwira ikindi kintu kijyana no kwirinda ubusambanyi cy’ingenzi cyane ku bantu bari kurambagizanya. “Umuntu wese areke kurengera no kuriganya mwene se kuri ibyo.” Inshuro nyinshi iyo abantu barambagizanya usanga batarafashe igihe cyo gushyiraho imbibi zumvikanyweho neza ku mibanire yabo bombi. Ukisanga uwo murambagizanya aragukoresha ibintu utabohokeye nyamara ntamenye ko ibyo ari gukora bibusanye n’amahitamo yawe. Ijambo ry’Imana hano rihugurira abizera kutarengera. Mukeneye kumvikana ku mbibi z’imibanire yanyu. Umuntu wese akamenya ibibangamiye mugenzi we, cyane ko abantu batekereza ubusambanyi mu buryo butandukanye, bitewe n’imico bakuriyemo cyangwa imiterere yabo yihariye.

Kurinda umubiri wawe ariko birenze kwirinda ubusambanyi. Niba nawe uri mu gihe cyo kurambagiza ushobora kwibuka igihe waraye uganira n’umukunzi bugacya utaryamye nyamara ufite izindi nshingano mu gitondo. Cyangwa se igihe wemeye kugenda urugendo rurerure n’amaguru nyuma bikaza kugwa nabi umubiri wawe nyamara watinye kubwira umukunzi wawe ko ibyo bintu bikuremereye. Kwitoza kubwizanya ukuri kuby’imibiri yanyu ishoboye n’ibyo idashoboye ni ingenzi mu gihe cyo kurambagiza. Bibafasha kwitegura kubaka urugo rwiza kuko ingo nyinshi zangizwa n’uko umwe mu bashakanye atamenya intege nke za mugenzi we ngo amufashe uko bikwiye. Nk’urugero usanga abagabo benshi batumva imvune ziba mu kazi ko mu rugo ugasanga n’igihe yagafashije umugore we  ntazi ko abikeneye. Kimwe n’uko hari ubwo usanga abagore batumva imvune z’abagabo babo bagakomeza kubasaba ibirenze n’igihe abandi batabishoboye. Uwo munaniro ukabije uhinduka indwara ibangamira cyane ubuzima bw’abashakanye. Nyamara yakwirindwa abantu bitoje kare kuganira kubyo bashoboye n’ibyo badashoboye mu mibanire yabo.

kandi urinde umuryango wawe.

Iyo abantu bamaze kwemeranya kubana, urukundo rwabo rutangira kurenga bo ubwabo rukagera no mu miryango ndetse n’inshuti zabo. Kuburyo usanga ibibaye ku rukundo rw’aba babiri, ingaruka zabyo zigera no ku nshuti n’imiryango yabo. Abantu benshi bibwira ko uburyo bwiza bwo kurinda umuryango izi ngaruka ari ukutabaha amakuru y’urukundo rwabo. Gusa ibyo bihabanye n’ijambo ry’Imana. Kuko ijambo ry’Imana rihamagarira abizera kubwirana ibirenze amakuru yabo, ribahamagarira kwaturirana ibyaha byabo ngo bakizwe. Bisaba rero ko abakundana bagira uburyo bwo kugenzura ni ibiki babwira imiryango n’inshuti zabo nk’uburyo bwo gusangira nabo ubuzima no kwishimira urukundo?¹ Indirimbo ya Salomo 1:4 Ni ibiki batabwira imiryango n’inshuti zabo nk’uburyo bwo kwirinda ubwabo no kuzirinda? Ni ibiki babwira benedata nk’uburyo bwo kwaturirana ibyaha ngo bakizwe? Mu kurambagiza, kurinda umuryango wawe ni ukwemeranya n’uwo murambagizanya ibisubizo by’ibi bibazo byose. Ndetse kuri buri kintu gishya kije mu mibanire yanyu mukemeranya gikwiye kujya mu kihe cyiciro.

Abantu benshi, mu izina ryo kurinda imiryango yabo no kwirinda bo ubwabo usanga iby’urukundo rwabo babigira ibanga kugeza ku munota wa nyuma. Ibyo ni ukwibeshya kuko bihombya abarambagizanya amahirwe yo kugwiza inshuti ndetse no gukurira hamwe na benedata. Kuba ukundana n’umuntu runaka nta soni biteye, bityo si ikintu cyo kwihererana. Benshi batinya ko biramutse bidakunze ngo abantu bazabaseka. Ibyo ni ubwoba bw’ubusa. Kubera ko mu bantu bose bashatse ni bake bashakanye n’umuntu wa mbere bakundanye. Abatarashaka nabo impamvu batarashaka ni uko batarabona uwo bakundana byuzuye. Bityo rero ntawaguseka kubera ko wagerageje bikanga, kuko twese tuzi uko kubona uwo muzabana bigora. 

Kubwira inshuti n’umuryango ko uri mu rukundo hakiri kare birinda inshuti zawe kuba abanyamahanga mu rushako rwawe. Kuva bigitangira, iyo abantu bamenye ko ufite umukunzi batangira kwitegura. Iyo igihe kigeze mukanzura kubana, ntibatungurwa n’uko  mukeneye ko babashyigikira. Bifasha kandi uyu mugenzi wawe nawe kutaba umunyamahanga mu buzima bw’inshuti zawe. Kuburyo igihe mwashakanye, urugo rwanyu ruba ahantu inshuti zanyu mwembi zisanzuye. Bibafasha kandi kubasha kugirira umumaro bene so kuko uko inshuti zawe zakira uwo mukundana kare niko bamenya n’impano ze n’ubushobozi bwe bwo kubitaho bigatuma abona kare icyo akora kigirira abandi akamaro. Kandi nawe kikamwongerera agaciro. Ibi kandi binajyana no kuba n’abandi nabo bamenya uko bamwitaho bituma yumva akunzwe, ntabe wenyine. Kubwira inshuti zawe n’umuryango ko ufite umukunzi hakiri kare ni uburyo bwo kuzirinda kuba abashyitsi mu buzima bwawe no kurinda umukunzi wawe kuba umushyitsi mu nshuti zawe. Kandi ni inzira ibageza ku kubaka urugo rugirira abandi umumaro.

Imana idushoboze! 

Izindi nyigisho zagufasha

Uburyo bwizewe bwo kurambagiza Igice cya 3: Kuganira neza 1 Uburyo bwizewe bwo kurambagiza Igice cya 2: Kwakira uwo uri we nta kwirarira