Kubaka imibanire myiza Igice cya 3: Ibyo kuvuganaho

Mu bice bibiri byabanje twarebye kubaka imibanire myiza duhereye ku myitwarire y’ umuntu ku giti cye(attitude) imufasha gusigasira ubumwe n’ uburyo bwo kuvugana hagati y’ abantu bwabafasha kugira ibiganiro byimbitse. Hari ubwo abantu bifuza kuvugana mu buryo butuma bubaka imibanire myiza, ariko bakabura icyo bavuga.  Muri iyi nyigisho turareba ibintu 4 wowe na mugenzi wawe mushobora kuvuganaho. Harimo: ibyabaye mu buzima bwanyu uwo munsi, amagambo yo gukomezanya, ibyo mushimirana n’ ibyo muhugurana.

Ibyabaye mu buzima bwanyu uwo munsi

Ikintu cya mbere ukeneye kuvugana na mugenzi wawe ni ibyabaye mu buzima bwanyu kuri uwo munsi. Ibi kenshi usanga bigorana kubera ko iyo tubaza amakuru usanga kenshi dukoresha ibibazo bifunze. Ukabaza ngo: “umunsi wawe wagenze gute?” Bituma umuntu agusubiza ngo: “Wagenze neza”, maze ikiganiro kikarangirira aho utamenye ibyamubayeho.  Kuvugana ku byabaye mu buzima bwa mugenzi wawe kuri uwo munsi bisaba kumubaza ibibazo bifunguye nko kumubaza ngo: “Ni ibiki byaranze umunsi wawe?” Kubera ko gusubiza icyo kibazo bimusaba kurondora ibintu bitandukanye byamubayeho. 

Aha ushobora kuba uri kwibaza uti ese kuki nkeneye kumenya ibyabaye kuri mugenzi wanjye no kumubwira ibyambayeho? Gusangira ayo makuru niyo nzira yo kubaka ubusabane bwimbitse hagati yanyu no gutuma mugenzi wawe yumva yitaweho. Niba rero uri umugabo ukaba ukeneye kwita ku umugore wawe, cyangwa uri umugore ukaba ukeneye kwita ku mugabo wawe, zirikana iteka kumubaza ibyaranze umunsi we. Kuko kumubaza ibyaranze umunsi we biguha amakuru ukeneye ngo urusheho kumenya uburyo bukwiriye bwo kumwitaho. Niba kandi ushaka kurushaho kumenyana n’ uwo muri kurambagizanya, gusangira ibyabaye ni ngombwa. Mu kubaza mugenzi wawe ibyaranze umunsi we, uzarushaho gusobanukirwa uwo ari we by’ ukuri. Ibyo akora, ibimushishikaza kuruta ibindi, ibimuhangayikisha, uko yitwara mu bibazo, n’ ibindi byagufasha kurushaho kumumenya. Kuburyo muramutse mufashe icyemezo cyo kubana, waba uzi neza uwo mugiye kubana.

Ku bizera kandi, gusangira amakuru y’ibyabaye n’ inshuti bidufasha gusohoza icyo ijambo ry’Imana rivuga mu Abaroma 12.15 ngo “Mwishimane n’abishima, murirane n’abarira.” Iyo mugenzi wawe akubwiye ibyaranze umunsi we ubasha kumenya niba hari icyamunejeje ngo mwishimane cyangwa icyamubabaje ngo mubabarane. Kimwe ni uko ushobora no gusanga hari ibya muhinyuje hakaba hari icyo wamufasha, nk’ uko ijambo ry’ Imana ridusaba kwikorerana imitwaro.¹Mwakirane ibibaremerera, kugira ngo abe ari ko musohoza amategeko ya Kristo. Abagalatiya 6.2 BYSB

Amagambo yo gukomezanya 

Ikintu cya kabiri ukeneye kuvugana na mugenzi wawe ni amagambo yo gukomezanya. Iyo abantu basangira amakuru y’ ibyabaye mu buzima bwabo, hari ubwo usanga mugenzi wawe yahuye n’ ibimuhinyuza cyangwa ibimubabaza. Nyuma yo gutega mugenzi wawe amatwi witonze, ukamubaza ibibazo bifunguye bimufasha kugusobanurira neza, birashoboka ko wasanga igisubizo gikwiriye ari ukumukomeza. Bumwe mu buryo bwo gukomezanya hagati yawe na mugenzi wawe, mu gihe umwe muri mwe ari kunyura mu bihe bimukomereye ni ukwibukiranya ibyiza cyangwa imigisha Imana yashyize mu buzima bwanyu. Kuko n’ ijambo ry’ Imana rihamagarira abizera kuzirikanana bagaterana umwete wo gukora ibyiza nk’ uko tubisoma mu Abaheburayo 10.24 “kandi tujye tuzirikana ubwacu kugira ngo duterane ishyaka ryo gukundana n’iry’imirimo myiza.²Abeheburayo‬ ‭10:24‬ ‭BYSB‬‬ https://bible.com/bible/351/heb.10.24.BYSB Hari n’igihe bitaba bisaba ibindi bintu byinshi. Ugasanga bihagije kumwibutsa gusa ko umukunda, uha agaciro uko yiyumva muri icyo gihe kandi umusengera.

Aha ariko, ni ngombwa kuzirikana ko gukomeza umuntu bitavuze gukemura ikibazo mu mwanya we. Urugero, niba umuntu akubwiye ingorane yahuye nazo mu kazi. Ni ibintu bisanzwe ko mu kazi ka buri munsi umuntu ahura n’ ingorane. Ariko kandi, buri muntu wese uri mu kazi aba afite uburyo bwe bwo gusohoka muri izo ngorane. Ntago kuba umuntu akubwiye ingorane yahuye nazo bishatse kuvuga ko akeneye ko uzimukemurira. Irinde kwihutira gushaka gukemura ikibazo, ahubwo ushyire imbere gutega amatwi witonze. Ureke agusobanurire neza umenye ingorane yahuye nazo n’ uko yazikemuye cyangwa ateganya kuzikemura bizagufasha kurushaho kumumenya no kumukunda. Maze niba hari aho yacitse intege umutere umwete wo gukomeza kwishakira ibisubizo akeneye, kuko kwikemurira ibibazo ni bimwe mu bituma umuntu yiyumvamo ko afite agaciro. 

Ibyo mushimirana

Ikintu cya gatatu ukeneye kuvugana na mugenzi wawe ni ibyo mushimirana. Kuvugana ibyo mushimirana bivuze ko umugabo cyangwa umugore afata akanya ko kubwira uwo bashakanye ibyiza amubonaho. Kimwe n’ uko nawe utarashatse ukeneye gufata akanya ukabwira inshuti zawe ibyiza uzibonaho. Abantu bamwe ntibavuga ibyo bashima kuko bibwira yuko abo bashima bareka gukora neza. Gusa ibyo bibusanye n’ icyo ijambo ry’ Imana rivuga. Tubona kenshi mu nzandiko za Pawulo afata umwanya wo kuvuga ibyo ashima ku matorero yandikiye ndetse n’ abantu ku giti cyabo.³“Nshima Imana yanjye iteka uko mbibutse, kandi uko mbasabiye mwese iteka ryose mbasabira nezerewe, kuko mwafatanije nanjye umurimo wo kwamamaza ubutumwa bwiza, muhereye ku munsi wa mbere mukageza na n’ubu.”
‭Abafilipi‬ ‭1:3-5‬ ‭BYSB‬‬ https://bible.com/bible/351/php.1.4-5.BYSB
“Dukwiriye kubashimira Imana iteka bene Data nk’uko bikwiriye, kuko kwizera kwanyu kugwira cyane, n’urukundo rw’umuntu wese muri mwe mukundana rugasāga.” ‭
2 Abatesalonike‬ ‭1:3‬ ‭BYSB‬‬ https://bible.com/bible/351/2th.1.3.BYSB

Gushima gutuma ushimwa ashishikara, akarushaho gukora neza. Gushima kandi si ukubitekereza ngo wumve ushimye Imana mu mutima wawe ko hari icyo umuntu runaka akumariye maze wicecekere. Bigusaba kubyatura ukabwira mugenzi wawe ibyiza yagukoreye kugira ngo bitume arushaho kumenya agaciro afite mu maso yawe. Gusa kubera ko hari ubwo ushobora gusanga gushima atari ikintu wamenyereye, ukeneye kubyitoza uhereye ku bintu byoroheje. Mugenzi wawe yagutegurira ibyo kurya cyangwa yaguhereza ikintu runaka ukamushimira. Maze ugakomeza kujya ubyitoza buhoro buhoro kugeza no gushimira ibintu bigaruka buri munsi nko kuba umugore wawe yitaye ku rugo mu gihe udahari, cyangwa kuba umugabo wawe yakoze akazana amafaranga mu rugo n’ ibindi.

Ibyo muhugurana

Ikintu cya kane ukeneye kuvugana na mugenzi wawe ni ibyo muhugurana. Mu gihe kubwirana ibyo mushimirana bireba ibyiza ubona kuri mugenzi wawe, guhugurana bigaruka ku ntege nke umubonaho. Byaba ari igihombo gikomeye kuba wowe n’ inshuti yawe cyangwa uwo mwashakanye muganira ku bigenda neza gusa byagera ku bitagenda neza mukabyirengagiza. Wabona ikosa mugenzi wawe yakoze nturimubwire ngo ahari se utamubabaza. Ibyo bibusanye n’ icyo ijambo ry’ Imana rihamagarira abizera. Ijambo ry’ Imana ritubwira guhugurana kandi tukabikora vuba. Abaheburayo 3:13, Bibiliya iratubwira ngo “Ahubwo muhugurane iminsi yose bikitwa uyu munsi, hatagira uwo muri mwe unangirwa umutima n’ibihendo by’ibyaha.” Aha kandi ni ngombwa kuzirikana ko kuba uyu munsi mugenzi wawe yakoze ikosa runaka nta shyano ryaguye, uyu munsi niwe ejo ni wowe. Ese wowe wakoze ikosa ntiwakwifuza ko hagira uguhugura akagufasha kurivamo? Kuzirikana ibyo kandi ntibidutera umwete wo guhugura abandi gusa, ahubwo bitwigisha no kubikorana urukundo n’ umutima w’ ubugwaneza. Maze twese hamwe tugakomeza guterana ishyaka ryo gukundana n’ iry’ imirimo myiza. 

Bitekerezeho neza

Ese wowe ni kangahe ushishikazwa no gusangira na mugenzi wawe amakuru y’ ibyabaye mu buzima bwawe? Ese uwabaza inshuti yawe, umugabo cyangwa umugore wawe niba warashatse, ntiyasanga batazi ibiri kuba mu buzima bwawe? Ese ni kangahe wowe ushishikazwa no kumenya amakuru y’ ibiri kuba mu buzima bwa bagenzi bawe? Nonese ubwo ubusabane hagati yawe n’ inshuti zawe bushingiye ku ki, niba n’ amakuru y’ ibiri kuba mu buzima bwanyu mutajya muyasangira?

Ese iyo umuntu agusangije amakuru y’ ibyabaye mu buzima bwe wibuka kumukomeza iyo acitse intege, kumushimira iyo yakoze neza no kumuhugura iyo yagaragaje intege nke? 

Nonese utegereje iki? Imibanire myiza ntiyirema, umuntu arayubaka. Tangira uyu munsi witoze gusangiza inshuti, abavandimwe cyangwa uwo mwashakanye ibiri kuba mu buzima bwawe, nabo bazagenda bagufungukira buhoro buhoro. Gusa ni urugendo, kandi bisaba guhozaho  ukitoza kugira umwanya wihariye wo kuganira na mugenzi wawe nta gucika intege. 

Niba kandi uri muri babandi batuma abantu batinya gusangiza abandi amakuru y’ ibiri kuba mu buzima bwabo, kuko iyo bayagusangije ubataranga ukajya kubwira bose ibyabo ubasebya, Ndasenga ngo Imana ikugirire ubuntu umenye ko ibyo Imana ibyanga urunuka maze ubireke!

Imana idufashe!